"make him listen what are you thinking"

okay so this episode is like

the worst episode ever (like okay i know i said no criticism but like it’s really interesting who ends up getting saved here and who didn’t end up getting saved back in the day; a narrative can tell you a lot about the -ists of their writers by who gets heroized, who gets villainized, and who gets saved)

but the perception we get of john through dean’s and sam conflicting views of him is soul hurty

because a lot of the time, dean positions himself on john’s side

but then

it slips out. right here.

like how many times did dean try to make john listen to him about anything

about what he needed

about what he wanted

about what sam needed

about what sam wanted

and of course sam already gets that to some degree — his assurance to Alfie Matt that he can leave, that he can do whatever he wants as soon as he gets away from home — speaks to some vague, nebulous idea of that even if he can’t articulate it right here

"dad never treated you like that you were perfect—he was all over me."


dean knows his dad never saw him as perfect and that he probably held each one of his so-called “failures” against him even now that he is twenty-six years old.

but sam never saw that (Dad probably hid it from sam or attempted to?)

and dean’s gut instinct is to say “dad never treated us like that” because —

that’s how he retold the story to himself, i think — something that dean has canonically done wrt trauma, etc. ugh (and also reminiscent of my own feels towards my mom i’m so sorry dean for putting all my self projection issues on you)

sam bonding with their dad’s disappointment — saying you can leave

dean saying that you should stick with family (ah abandonment, hidden resentment towards sam leaving, deeper resentment towards dad always leaving)

dean telling sam to respect his old man for a change (how many times did you not want to respect your dad is this projection maybe)

it’s okay to leave toxic relationships dean, one day you’ll learn, i hope you’ll learn. 

and dean doesn’t understand how dad could be disappointed in sam. 

ugh the way they just don’t understand each other

their one dimensional perception of their relationship not only with dad but with themselves

"but even when you two weren’t talking he used to swing by stanford whenever he could—keep an eye on you make sure you were safe" 

and then dean bites his lip, averts his gaze — the same expression when he finds out that adam got to go to baseball games

and after defending john

it finally slips out.

"make him listen what are you thinking"


fucking. john. winchester.

(also this is the first ep witha queerbait joke — sam x dean, not necessarily wincest as when this was written there was no fandom to poke fun of yet)

03.04.13 /  6 notes
  1. warpfactornope posted this